I'm listening to Radiohead right now and letting them express my feelings. It's just crazy how much shit you get hit with in life. But its amazing how you can get up and say, "didn't hurt." I find myself blogging at my best times and my worst times. Sometimes just being silent is best when being attacked by a loved one. I just got attacked by my wife about bills and supposedly returning to my own ways. I take a look at her comments and I take a deeper look within myself. I am doing good at my job and am working on more contract work. I attend my celebrate recovery meetings and am still going to AA every once in a while. I'm starting to workout again and am making proactive movements in my life. I've accepted who I am and continue to fight to become a better person everyday. If I began to slag, sometimes I get depressed. But I'm finding myself getting up faster every time. I'm truly at piece with myself because I know that know matter what, my happiness comes from me. Mistakes that others make I can give grace and try to fix but when it comes to me being a bigger person... I'm getting better at not Attacking because Ive been attacked. As I sit in my backyard and watch airplanes fly over and look at the moon peek through the clouds Im evaluating myself. All things that were a block in my life are still there. I'm just jumping over them or moving around them.
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