Ok, so when I woke up this morning, I went to the bathroom and stepped on the scale and didn't like what I saw. I was 240 lbs. and I like to be somewhere in the 200-215 range but worst, I could feel it. How did I get here? Well for one, I've been in recovery for the past 86 days, 11 hours, 14 minutes and 20 seconds. It's had its ups and its downs but I definitely see the quality of my life increasing as I continue on with my journey. One thing that came with my recovery is hunger, a hunger for all things that taste good. So I found myself eating everything in sight and with no thoughts of the consequences because those of using again seemed so much worse. I'm one of those people who has a large wardrobe of clothes if I must say so yet somehow it began to slowly get smaller and smaller. What was happening? It didn't hit me until a pair of pants that I had worn a week before all of sudden at a much tighter fit. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my belly protruding out of my shirt and I thought about how old I was. Being 28, I should be in my prime and I am now more so since I have kicked the drug habit. I had become complacent in many ways. I use to avidly pursue business and opportunities but over the past 2 years, I haven't been there mentally all the way. When you are battling something and making changes in your life, everything that you got used to needed to be thrown off balance and destroyed to be rebuilt on a better foundation. My Resurrection, rising from the ashes. When I read the proverb of the day Proverbs 27:12 stuck out to me. A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge; but the simple pass on, and suffer for it. I was the simple for way too long, I had let my good qualities and arrogance lead me down a path of the destruction of my life and the negativity had began to sink in. That's why finally today I started to blog again. I have been working on other forms of structure in my life such as building my relationship with God, going to AA and CR, working on projects of creativity and getting my passion back for life but without keeping a daily journal I wouldn't have a way to express myself in words or reflect onto something that I could see everyday and go back to if I wanted. I wanted to push myself further. So I worked out today and now, Bam! I'm back blogging just for today. Its another tool in my recovery.
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Getting back on track
Ok, so when I woke up this morning, I went to the bathroom and stepped on the scale and didn't like what I saw. I was 240 lbs. and I like to be somewhere in the 200-215 range but worst, I could feel it. How did I get here? Well for one, I've been in recovery for the past 86 days, 11 hours, 14 minutes and 20 seconds. It's had its ups and its downs but I definitely see the quality of my life increasing as I continue on with my journey. One thing that came with my recovery is hunger, a hunger for all things that taste good. So I found myself eating everything in sight and with no thoughts of the consequences because those of using again seemed so much worse. I'm one of those people who has a large wardrobe of clothes if I must say so yet somehow it began to slowly get smaller and smaller. What was happening? It didn't hit me until a pair of pants that I had worn a week before all of sudden at a much tighter fit. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my belly protruding out of my shirt and I thought about how old I was. Being 28, I should be in my prime and I am now more so since I have kicked the drug habit. I had become complacent in many ways. I use to avidly pursue business and opportunities but over the past 2 years, I haven't been there mentally all the way. When you are battling something and making changes in your life, everything that you got used to needed to be thrown off balance and destroyed to be rebuilt on a better foundation. My Resurrection, rising from the ashes. When I read the proverb of the day Proverbs 27:12 stuck out to me. A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge; but the simple pass on, and suffer for it. I was the simple for way too long, I had let my good qualities and arrogance lead me down a path of the destruction of my life and the negativity had began to sink in. That's why finally today I started to blog again. I have been working on other forms of structure in my life such as building my relationship with God, going to AA and CR, working on projects of creativity and getting my passion back for life but without keeping a daily journal I wouldn't have a way to express myself in words or reflect onto something that I could see everyday and go back to if I wanted. I wanted to push myself further. So I worked out today and now, Bam! I'm back blogging just for today. Its another tool in my recovery.
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